i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
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