Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Randomize
