Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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