I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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