My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
