We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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