Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
