i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
