His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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