Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
