Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
