As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
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