part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
