Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
