Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
