He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
