She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
