No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
