i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
