The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
