Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
