oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
