? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Randomize
