Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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