There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
