My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
