I met the friendliest cop last night
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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