i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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