i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
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