Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
