He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
