her vagine was all disorganized.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
