can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
