dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
