a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
she told me i tasted like america
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
