How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
