dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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