you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The ass gains better be worth it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
