i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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