Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
