i think my tv is drunk
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
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