Umm I'm too high to move.
if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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