I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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