just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
