my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
