So drunk its hurt
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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