don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Randomize
