carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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