fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
