We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
