This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
So vagazzling was a success
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
